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Monday, July 27, 2009

R.I.P Zeus

On Monday July 20th, I lost my baby, my bestest friend....my dog Zeus. Words can't even describe how much heart ache and pain I have been in....I was so close to him. I was not fully prepared for this...but then again, can you ever really prepare yourself for death?

Zeus was a very special dog....one of a kind, with an amazing spirit. My little buddy....he was always so happy & hyper....he had so much personality and was *SO* loyal to me.

He was 6 weeks old when I got him and his brother Skully, and he was just shy of 11yrs old when he passed. I am so devastated by this, I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart. That dog has been with me through many ups and downs in my life. When I was sad he knew it...he would give me a ton of kisses, bump/push me with his nose, bring me toys....he would not stop until he made me smile. Its very tough...nothings the same without him here...it all just sucks so bad.

About 4 months ago Zeus & Skully were running down the steps like maniacs....Zeus slipped and fell down a few steps. This all just inflamed his arthritis to where he needed weekly injections to ease the pain. A month after his whole demeanor changed completely. Everything he did was at half speed, drooled alot, ate and drink as if he was drugged. The meds he was on wouldn't have had this affect ......My vets and I believe he had a stroke. So since then Zeus has been in the vet almost weekly taking tests to find out what we could do for him. Even though he was at half speed, he fought it and put on a happy face and wagged his tail the entire time....he refuse to show me that he was in any pain. On Monday morning July 20th....we believe Zeus had another stroke and/or heart attack.

I miss him *SO* much....I can't seem to shake my sadness. Mornings and nights are the worst for me....I cant really wake up or go to bed without crying....everything's so different. But I know this is how it goes...I know I hafta mourn. I know our animals have a short life span and I know eventually this pain will ease and I will have only happy memories. Its just hard to see all that through this thick cloud right now. I am so grateful that I had the luxury of spending his entire life with him....if feel very blessed for that. ...and I am at ease knowing that baby is not in pain anymore.

If you're a member of my site and have watched my VBlogs (Video blogs), then you know that right before Zeus's death, I have also been dealing with some other personal issues in my life. When it rains, it pours....ugh all this shit is just way to heavy for me. So I'm just trying to take everything one day at a time and piece my head back together. My mom had also been here all week...as soon as she heard the bad news about Zeus she flew in. She knows how much he meant to me...my whole family and all my friends who knew Zeus, are all upset. I miss him and his intoxicating happy spirit.

I have been putting most of my focus on Skully as well. He too is mourning and its so upsetting to watch. Right after his brother passed, he kept going to the spot where he died and sitting in it, sniffing it. He wouldn't eat, would not get out of bed in the morning, just really mopey.
So I took him to the vet and got him on some anti-depressants. I've also been taking him to the dog park daily to play with other dogs....this all seems to be lifting his spirits, which makes me smile.

I do want to say thank you, to all of you who have reached out to me about Zeus. When I finally turned on my computer and saw all the emails, FB comments, twitter replies, etc....I was shocked... I'm so grateful. Please know that I read all of them and your support really means alot to me...so a huge thank you.

Thats it for now....sorry for this blah blog post....just not a happy Lex right now. I'll come around....at my own pace.
Hope you all have a great week. xoxox


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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Girls Nite

Lexi Lapetina, Diamond James & Sapphira Chanel
My gf DJ came to visit me last weekend. I was SO excited because she is such a great friend of mine and we don't get to see each other as often as we'd likeLexi Lapetina, Diamond James & Sapphira Chanel. Everytime we hang its always a blast. So Saturday nite we rounded up some of our other fabulous girlfriends and headed out for "Girl's Nite"....which ended up being alotta damn fun! The picture above cracks me up....we were pretty drunk...lol

DJ and I also shot some new & HOT content for members of our sites....so stay tuned for that! I'm going to workout.....I will see youse in my Members Only live show today! If you are not already a member, then CLICK HERE to Join Now!!

Lexi Lapetina, & Kimi

Lexi Lapetina, Diamond James & Sapphira Chanel

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Monday, July 13, 2009

Don't take it personally

Lexi Lapetina - www.EroticNeighbor.com
Don't take anything personally because by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing. Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don't need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally. Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself.

Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves. Even if others lie to you, it is okay. They are lying to you because they are afraid you will discover that they are not perfect. It is painful to take off the social masks.
You have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you. If others say one thing, but do another, you are lying to yourself if you don't listen to their actions. But if you are truthful with yourself, you will save yourself a lot of emotional pain.Telling yourself the truth may hurt, but you don't need to be attached to the pain.

If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn't walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want.

You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others. You can travel around the world with your heart completely open. You can say, "I love you," without fear of being rejected. You can ask for what you need without guilt or self-judgement.

You can choose to follow your heart always, and live with inner peace and happiness.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Holiday weekend

I hope you all had a great 4th of July! I stayed home with my dogs.....they always bug out from the loud noise. However, I did get to see an awesome fireworks show, from my backyard.

Other than that, I spent the last two days with my gf Dana. She flew in from NY and we had a girlie weekend :) Drank lots of wine, cooked, chatted, layed in bed and watched movies...it was great...love her!

The sun is finally shining so, I think I'm going to hit the bike trails. Have a great Sunday!

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